The Company Apprentice has ended
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Monday, August 17, 2009

The Final Task

Congratulations. You are the final two. One of you will become The Company Apprentice.

At the beginning of this competition, you were a sad bunch of equals. But Gyrobo and Professor X, you both proved to be more equal than the rest. That is why you're still standing, and they're fired.

These lesser beings are here to fulfill the role of the common foot soldier, a vital part of any organization, good or bad. You two must prove your effectiveness at leading unimaginative and expendable peons such as Ciera, Wolverine, Jon and Nepharia.

Jon, stop picking your nose. This is a ceremonious occasion!

Professor X, you are the El Jefe of Team One. Jon and Nepharia are your two foot soldiers that will be assisting you on this task.

Gyrobo, you're The Boss of Victorious Secret. Ciera and Wolverine have been recruited to do your bidding.

"Gee, I wonder what Koma's up to these days. It's just not going to be the same without him on our team."

That is highly irrelevant, Ciera. But now that you mention it, I can't help but ponder about what the purpley numskull is doing....

...Well, that passed. Now, to the task at hand.

This task is war. Literally.

You each will be assigned a top notch organization to wage war upon. Failure is simply not an option. We're not in France. This is America. We fight until there is nothing left to fight for, and even then we don't surrender. Cease fire, maybe, but never surrender!

"Go Joe!"

Thanks, Jon.

For this challenge, you will be required to capture and interrogate a member of your enemy organization. Make them talk, by whatever means necessary. There are secrets in their heads, and you have to uncover it. Find out something unknown about the organization and its doings.

You will also need to wiretap their headquarters. Infiltration techniques are all up to you. Simply ensure that you can acquire live audio and video feed of their meetings and conversations.

You will also need to launch a public campaign to discredit them or their public interests. An organization is only as strong as its backing. Destroy whatever it is that's providing them with support, financially or otherwise, by demoralizing it in the eyes of the public. Call them out in a panel discussion on FoxNews. Blame them for Global Warming. Accuse them of wanting to pull the plug on Grandma. (Only five dollars for my twelvth birthday? Really?) People will respond, and without the people's support, either directly or through complacency, no organization or movement can survive.

Finally, you must deal the fatal blow. Humiliate their leader. Simple. Sweet.

Now, which organizations are the unfortunate targets of your power-hungry feast?

Gyrobo, your enemy organization with which you'll be warring is Australia.

Professor X, the organization that will be receiving the blunt end of your ugly stick is The Internal Revenue Service.

Final Challenge

  • Capture and interrogate group member

  • Wiretap headquarters

  • Destory public interests

  • Humiliate leader

This is it. Your final task. Put your cronies to work effectively. Dominate your selected enemy, and prove that you have what it takes to become The Company Apprentice!


  1. How will I get past Australia's border fence?

  2. Hey, I wasn't picking my nose I was just... hey what was that in there?