We do not have te-le-vi-zhun on Courusant. And quite frankly I don't understand it.
What I can gather it is, that people watch security holotape footage of other people doing strange stuff. Except the people doing the strange stuff are just *pretending* to do that strange stuff. You people call it entertainment. I call it down right weird.
My favorite form of entertainment: staying out of the Emperor's way. My real life is far more exciting that any footage on a holotape; I just don't understand you people.
Then we get told by Bennet that we have to create a TV show with a message, shoot a pilot, pitch the show to some boorish execs, and, if we have time, do some viral marketing. I signed up for shooting the pilot of course: seemed right up my alley. But then I discovered something...
"Nepharia...." Xavier began, mouth agape. "That isn't quite what we were looking for when we told you we needed a pilot."
"But Jon said we were pitching a show about crime -- couldn't we just use him for that?" I said, motioning to the body on the table. "So what type of pilot did you want? American Airlines? Southwestern? I probably could have got one of those Delta pilots, but they run real fast...."
Jon sat over in his corner with his hand over his mouth, shaking and silently laughing to himself. I think I saw tears streaming down his eyes.
"Nepharia," Xavier began, calming himself down. "A pilot is the first episode of a TV show. It gives executives an idea on what the show will be about so they can test it and possibly put it on television and make a lot of money."
He continued, "Our pilot is indeed a crime show, with an underlying -- and subliminal -- message that Team One Rocks or Team One Rules...you get the picture."
I looked at body of the dead rebel pilot on the conference table and sighed.
"It took me a lot of time to get this guy -- it wasn't easy." I said. "I'm not sure if I still have enough time to film an entire pilot -- I think I could probably do a season trailer or something like that," I suggested.
"I'm sure that will do just fine," Xavier said. "I can manage the rest -- then get with Jon and work on some of that viral marketing."
"Ok," I said, then slung the dead body over my shoulder and left the room.
With the information from Xavier, and some creative coaching from Jon, I managed to come up with a slick new advertisement to tease the masses into joining us at the only available time slot: