The Company Apprentice has ended
Heroes Blogs | Moose Humor

Monday, August 10, 2009

You're Fired: Number Five

"So, who should I fire?" I asked the remnants of Victorious Secret.

They sat silently. Nobody made a sound.

"Well," I continued, "should I fire Koma?"

Gyrobo dropped his so-called magic eight ball, which proceeded to roll under the table. "I think that's a 'Concentrate and ask again' one," he said.

"Ciera? Should I fire you?" I asked the fiery woman.

She rolled her eyes and replied, "Don't ask me. I'm a dog person."

I ignored the fact that didn't make sense and went on to Koma. "So, tell me. You've been the most losingest of all. Why shouldn't I fire you?"

"Cats?" he cried. "YouTube cats??" He threw his hands up in the air and said, "I don't care who you fire. Nothing you say or do makes any sense, and your lackeys are idiots."

"Yeah, flip a coin or something," Ciera added.

I pulled out a special coin, just for this occasion. "In honor of Maverick University, and all the great entertainment it's provided us this season of the Company Apprentice, I have this special, commemorative quarter."



Gyrobo, Koma and Ciera oohed and awed on the inside.

Before flipping the aforementioned coin, I explained, "Heads I fire Koma. Tails I fire Ciera."

I positioned the commemorative quarter on the edge of my index finger with my thumb tucked beneath. Pressure built up slowly before my index finger allowed my thumb to shoot up, propelling the shiny currency high into the air. As it began its journey downward, a sudden blast was heard. The coin was struck in midair by a bullet, and we all turned to witness the gunman.

"Where's my money?" the blue coin-assassin hollered.

Just as I trained him to do, The Haitian quickly tackled our new foe. He was quickly subdued, though his limbs flailed about sporadically making him difficult to pin. As The Haitian escorted him out, taking him down to Level 5, Claire asked about the coin flip. "So, like, who won the flip thingy?"

"I think that's a 'Better not tell you now' one," Gyrobo answered.

I looked at Koma, then at Ciera, and said, "You're both fired."