The Company Apprentice has ended
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Monday, August 10, 2009

Task Six: Applying Effort

Welcome, teams...or what's left of them, I should say.

As you can see, Victorious Secret has been decimated.

"Yay! Go team!"

Calm down, Gyrobo. One person does not make a team.

I've got good news and bad news.

The good news is that you are the final four. You've got a one in four shot of becoming The Company Apprentice and winning the grand prize, a dream job of a lifetime with me and my new secret company.

"Woo hoo!"



The bad news, however, is that two of you will be fired this week!




For this task, there are no more teams. Each of you will be competing individually. Now, it has occurred to me that it's several weeks into this job application process and not a single one of you has interviewed or turned in a résumé. We can't have that. And for legal purposes, there is the standard physical and drug test.

Permission not obtained for use

And here at the Company, we're all about doing things in the most legal way possible.

So, it's time for the four of you to submit yourselves to a true job application process.

Jon, your interviewer is on his way here now.

Cobra Commander

Nepharia, your interviewer is driving in as we speak.

Hello Kitty

Charles, it's quite possible yours is already here, and if not, he'll teleport here shortly.

Dr. Manhattan

Gyrobo, you may have thought your interviewer has been dead, but I assure you that was all a grand conspiracy. He's on his way over from the undisclosed location he's been living in for the past fifteen years.

Richard Nixon

Each one of you will be posed numerous questions by your individual interviewer. They will report back to me using a sophisticated performance chart.

You will also need to somehow manage to pass a drug test and physical.

And don't forget to create a résumé. This should be given to me and your interviewer for review. Impress us with your extensive qualifications.

Challenge Five

  • Prepare and submit a résumé

  • Interview with your chosen interviewer

  • Pass, truthfully or not, a drug test and physical

This is it lady and gentlemen and robot. Only two of you will remain after this. You four have proven yourself worthy so far, but half of you will not make it to the final round, and only one of you can become The Company Apprentice!


  1. Sorry about that scream. Quite unbecomming of me.

  2. I *must* protest. Did you give me Hello Kitty because I am female?

    I would *much* rather get Dr. Manhattan... because I'm female

  3. In superhero circles his code names is The Great Blue Schlong. You can have him, Neph.

  4. I've tangoed with that Tricky Dick before.

  5. @Nepharia: It had nothing to do with your gender, but rather your proclivity for evil.

    Each interviewer was chosen to give the interviewee the most difficult and trying interview imaginable. There's no trading.

    Dr. Manhattan because he's resistant to Xavier's telepathy.

    Hello Kitty because she's the nicest, most happiest thing in the world.

    Cobra Commander because of Jon's fear of snakes or speech impediments (I forget which).

    Richard Nixon because of Gyrobo affinity for Deep Throat.

  6. I have a fear of snakes with speach impediments.