Hello I'm Wolverine, star of movies, cartoons, and more comics than any one person can buy each month. I want to talk to you about Australia. Yes I know most of you think that it's a harmless little continent where ducks appear like magic in microwaves, and koalas become your friends.
It's anything but that. For years they have been trying to sell you swill that pretends to be beer. This is what they want you to think about Foster's
But I stole this from this flyer that shows what they're really planning.
That's right they want to destroy America's brain cells with Kangaroo pee. Now normally I wouldn't care since I'm Canadian. But being a member of the X-men I have to see the ill effects of Foster's every day.
Yes a very well known X-man drinks Foster's: Cyclops. Here he is thinking an under age rock monster is a beautiful woman.
Worst yet Foster’s also has mutating properties, look what drinking it did to this poor young lad.
That's right it turned him into a monster, now poor Eddie's dream to sleep with a barely legal leather wearing motorcycle riding super heroine is forever out of reach.
Still not convinced that Foster's is evil, and Australia should be completely destroyed for inflicting on us? Well look what a lifetime of drinking this bilge water has done to pro wrestler the Ultimate Warrior.
Do you want your entire flamin' country to be like that? And Australia won't stop with the US. Oh no. They want to rule the world. Imagine the entire world but Australia being like the Ultimate Warrior. That's not a world I want to live in. This is why I hope that you will join Victorious Secret in destroying Foster's and Australia forever. This has been a Public Service Announcement.