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Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Rat, the Brat and Me

As I sat in the boardroom awaiting Four Eyes' judgment, I glanced down at the yellowish rodent sprawled on the table in front of me. A flea jumped from its fur onto the smooth surface of the table. I couldn't help but think of a rat deserting a sinking ship.

Then I turned to the young, gawky geek shaking nervously next to me. Telepathically I looked into his mind.

I make the most of all stress
I try to live without regrets
But I'm about to break a sweat

I'm freakin' out!

He kept singing that over and over to himself. The boy was practically a vegitable. Too much pot, I suspect.

Then I turned to the Haitian sitting next to Four Eyes. Apparently he's a power blocker, hence my difficulty taking control of Bennett's mind. Ah well. Just have to do this the old fashioned way.

"The fact is Bennett," I announced, "you don't really have much of a choice at all. I provided excellent leadership. It was the people you assigned to the team who proved to be incompetant. Our loss was therefore your fault and you should fire yourself."

"Not happening, Professor," he replied coldly.

"Alright then. This is a game. As with any organized competition, there are certain codes of gentlemenly conduct that apply. This means that we should at all times exhibit sportsmen like behavior. There is one player from the opposing team who did not do that. The super-villain Captain Koma. You should fire him."

Four Eyes looked at his daughter and then back to me. "No. He's not in the board room. His team won. He's not getting fired. Not this week, anyway." Then he chuckled evily.

"Fine," I said. "Both the rat and the brat were fairly useless, but at least the rat showed up at the conference and contributed ideas. I don't know what juvi detention hall you found Lyle in, but we haven't seen him all week. Clearly, he should be the one to go."


  1. Please, you can't make it up a flight of stairs.

  2. Hold on. Let me consider Koma some more....nope, can't fire him.

    You were the El Jefe of your team, Professor. That's like being the kids father. You weren't a good father to him, so isn't it your fault how he turned out?

  3. I've been running a school for wayward youths for years now. Am I responsible anytime one of them gets a cold or stubs his toe or gets killed by some super-villain? Of course not. If the boy is old enough to defile your daughter, he's old enough to find the show.

  4. Ha! Honestly if thats all you can do, you're on your way out baldy.

  5. Aw if he comes back then we'll have to let Cyclops out of the basement.