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Monday, July 20, 2009

You're Fired: Number Two

"And in conclusion and in summary," Jon said.

We waited.


So, I responded, "Relax, Jon. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. You did well enough, and this whiskey is great."

Jon smiled.

"But then, I don't know,"I continued, "I may have to fire two people this time."

I looked over the four losers. Ciera, Koma, Mr. Muggles, Jon.

"Ciera," I concentrated on the fiery writer, "you led your team to victory last week, but this week it all fell apart. Clearly it was all Koma's fault, but what's worse than his mistakes is that you let him make them. As The Boss you shouldn't let someone else push the team around. I think next week you should give someone else the chance to be The Boss."

I looked at my wife's Pomeranian, "Mr. Muggles, last week you came this close to getting fired. I like your fight, which is why you barely survived the boardroom last week. But I don't know if you're cut out for this line of work. You were a real alpha dog taking the role of El Jefe, but then you screwed the pooch on this task."

"Jon," I raised a glass to him, "do better next time."

Finally, we came to the masked-idiot. "Koma, your team seems to blame you. At least Ciera certainly does, and I think she's right. You've been pulling the strings behind the scenes and twice secretly led your team into a lackluster performance."

The Haitian nodded in his intimidating, Haitian way.

Claire rolled her eyes.

Jon took a shot of whiskey.

Mr. Muggles sat up.

Ciera took a shot of Jon's whiskey.

"I have to weed out the weaker contestants," I explained, "because soon we could be having a very important, very special guest judge. And so far it's been pretty disappointing all around. I'm hoping that after this boardroom the teams will become stronger, perform better. I think you've got a lot of heart in this game. You definitely want to win, and you've got what it takes to be a winner, just not in this line of business. Mr. Muggles, you're fired."

"You can go back to the room, Jon."

The Intergalactic Gladiator pet the sad, little doggy on its head before the two left the boardroom. Captain Koma and Ciera looked at each other.

"As for Victorious Secret," I said, "you two can both go back too. I'm not firing anyone else today. Don't make me regret that, Koma."