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Friday, July 10, 2009


I snarl at two O' my teammates. Captain " robot lover" Koma. And Henchy the one armed cyberboy. Ciera gets in between us. " Look Wolverine we can't be fighting amongst ourselves if we have a hope of winning."

I retract the claws. “You’re right Darlin' I bet I was put on this team to sabotage Koma, I do what I want to do." Yeah I watch a lotta reality shows it's either that or listen to Cyclops lecture me all day then start cryin' for no apparent reason. Putting me on with those two was obviously a cry for argument ratings.

The strange robot floats in, ya know the way it says weird thing kinda reminds me of Wade Wilson. “What did I miss anything groovy?"

I shrug slash off henchman's arm what? Vegeta shouldn't be the only one to have the fun O' doin' that and somehow or another Koma Got kicked in his little boys by Ciera.

Any way we finally decide I was gonna to go "recruit” the celebrity endorsements. Which back in my Team X days meant "kidnap, and brainwash."

Hmm but what do famous people lie? I need something to lure them to me. Well drugs they like those but I don't want to have to deal with those people I know some just don't like dealin' with 'em. I got it jail bait! And thanks to the weapon X program I got some my Clone/Daughter Laura.

Ciera balks at this plan. "You're going to send your daughter to lure in creepy celebrities? Why would you do that? What if she gets hurt?"

“Because she's a chip offa the ol Caknuckle head." She saw what I meant when some signer tried to pee on Laura well now he's singin' soprano.

The first celebrity that actually lured here without maiming was Charlie Sheen.

“I can't wait until that chick jumps out of the cake!" he slurs drunkenly too bad for him it was me that jumped outta the cake, well if there was a cake which there wasn't a cake there, I have no idea what he's talking about.

Hey no way I ain't into that!" He shouts

I grab him by his scrawny neck " Look Bub yer gonna endorse my lil' organization If not well..." Snikt! My claws pop out of the housings in my forearms.

“Yeah if you have the money I'll shill anything."

“You’ll do it for free, and like it bub!"

I tried the first brain washing method I knew, tyin' him to a chair, and I made him watch really bad movies Dragonball Evolution. The last Punisher movie, the 1980's Punisher movie, Double Dragon, Super Mario Bros usually that'd break any one's mind, or melt it into sludge, but I guess Sheen has built up a tolerance from bein' in bad movies.

I found the way to break him, by accident as I popped a beer open. "He begged, and pleaded for a taste But instead I let him drink Foster's. I don't care what people tell you that stuff ain't beer. It's probably part O' some plot by Koma to sell mind controlling kangaroo urine.

Finally I was able to break him to my will, like a Pavlovian dog he'll work do what I want for a treat in this case beer. Now he'll say mumbo jumbo that Victorious Secret feeds him, and better yet, he'll believe it if he doesn't well its back to drinkin' Foster's for him.

The problem is X-23 is a bit of an over achiever, she kept bringin' more Famous people, there's a room full O' people like Dennis Rodman, a wrestler or two , and so many others. Damn I'm gonna need a lot of Foster's


  1. jailbait??? so not cool!

    is charlie sheen really a good celebrity endorsement for a secret organization? i mean its not like its a crazy sex club.....oh well at least he's like free and stuff. my dad doesnt like wasting money. he wont even buy me the new iphone and thats like a bear necessity. (i dont know why bears need it but i guess that just shows how great it is)

    but good job victorious secret for getting to it quickly! your like so far ahead of the other guys!

  2. my goodness the plot to make the world drink kangaroo piss has been revealed. You'd never see a real aussie drink Fosters.

  3. FACT: Hypnotists often purchase kangaroo urine in large quantities as a mesmeric catalyst.

  4. No, you won't get me with Fosters....although a pint of Guinness would be very tempting...