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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Starlite Express Travel Agency

I can't believe Koma's in charge...but Bennett said everybody needed a turn.

He assigns me the task up setting up the travel agency and then takes off to set up some sort of amusement park, all the while muttering about synthoids. The man is cracked I tell you. He didn't even tell me what our slogan was to be!

Setting up shop at a busy space station, where there is lots of traffic. I set to luring as many people to Daogobah as possible. Of course, I hire a gaggle to answer the phones:

And I even hire a couple of guys to go out on the street to lead people to us:

"Bill," I say, "I don't care what you have to do, kidnap people in a van if you have!"

Happy to have work, he stutters and then takes off.


"I'll just tell them that it's the will of the Force!" he said almost cheerfully. He disappeared from sight. Man, death sure has changed that guy.

While the girls are giggling, waiting for the phones to start ringing, I post the poster I made:

It's not the best, but it's simple and straightforward. Maybe if Koma had had a few moments to spare for me- no doubt he wants to ruin me...either that or my challenge to mud wrestle him scared him. Sometimes I come on too strong!

So we wait...and wait...Soon enough Bill pulls up in a van and drops off a bunch of people.

They have no problem taking vacations, but they don't want to go to Dagobah. "Too dark and slimy," they said.

"Slimy?! Yoda's home it is!!" I replied.

The first two groups didn't budge, they all wanted to go to Yavin or Endor. I've never seen what's so great about little Wookiees anyway. They are going to be pissed when they discover that the Starlite Shuttles I sent them on land on Dagobah...and even more pissed when they learn that the refund fee costs more than the actual ticket.

Finally a bedraggled family wanders in.

The father walks up to me and introduces himself. "Hi, I'm Clark Griswold. That's my family over there. We're on our family vacation, but the theme park we wanted to go to was closed. There's this creepy ghost out there that said you could help."

"Of course I can! Here at Starlite Express we charter cheap flights to some of the most exotic locales this galaxy can offer. This week's special is a trip to Dagobah."

"Dagobah? I've never heard of it."

"Wonderful!" I exclaim. "What an opportunity to discover one of the galaxy's diamonds! There's something for everyone. There's Koma's theme park for the kids, there's a lovely health spa for the missus, and for yourself sir - you have the choice of exploring the deep woods filled with adventure in the iscover The Wolverine Experience...or..." I lowered my voice just a little. "If you look hard enough, I'm sure you can find some mud wrestling."

"Well sign us up!" he says exuberantly.

He didn't even wait for the bit about Gyro's gryos or the hotdogs!

I send the happy family off.

No doubt he's thinking:

To bad he's gonna find:

And so...with a smile, I move on to the next group of people driven in...


  1. Thanks for taking William Shatner off my hands.

    He bit me.

  2. He woulda found the first type if Flamin' Superman didn't put a stop to that Stupid Bouy scout.

  3. Hmm... that Griswald fellow I met. Stuck in my front yard, his Family Funster got.

  4. Why is Obi Wan sitting? Why does a ghost need to sit?

    Why does a god need a startship?

  5. So are you saying you are not involved in the mud wrestling?

  6. Gryobo - out of work actors can get that way.

    Wolverine - yeah, I'm sorry.

    Master Yoda - I think he's been stuck in everyone's yard a tone point or another...

    Jon I.G. - Even spirits get fatigued. Uhm, which god ar eyou refering too? Even Q used starships from time to time when it suited his purposes.

    Haitian - publicly, no. Privately however...

    And to the person who chose "lame" .... I thought that was the entire point.

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